Historical Event
22nd Anniversary Commemoration of the Parinirvana of H.H. Jigme Phuntsok
Since 2019, this commemorative Dharma assembly has been successfully held six times in Melbourne.
The Day My Guru Departed: Memories from the Time of His Holiness Choji Yishin Norbu Jigme Phuntsok
Everyone knows that this month is the most difficult and saddest time for people like me—those who are devoted followers of His Holiness Choji Yishin Norbu Jigme Phuntsok. At the same time, this month is also extremely sacred and deeply blessed for us. It is a time when we practice more sincerely, pray more intensely, and come together to commemorate the 22nd Parinirvana anniversary of His Holiness. No matter how many people attend, what truly matters is that we complete this sacred anniversary with purity and devotion.
Here in Melbourne, this year marked the sixth time we have held this prayer gathering since 2019. Some Dharma friends joined us online via Zoom, and altogether there were around one hundred participants. I sincerely rejoice in and deeply appreciate everyone's devotion and participation.
During this period, I have seen many Dharma friends sharing their feelings—especially their precious memories of time spent with the Guru and the emotions they experienced when they first heard the news of His Holiness's passing. Today, I would like to share my own memories from that difficult time.
Personal Memories
Some people may interpret these experiences differently or understand them in their own way. However, regardless of what others think or believe, I feel it is important to share what I personally experienced during the time of His Holiness Jigme Phuntsok. As a devoted disciple, the connection with one's guru brings inconceivable blessings. What I share here is simply my own journey and experience, born from that deep and unbreakable bond.
I clearly remember a time when His Holiness was unwell. There was a public discussion about whether he should continue teaching or go to the hospital. Many khenpos and senior monastics discussed this carefully, and in the end, everyone respectfully requested His Holiness to go to the hospital to see a doctor.
One evening, I heard that His Holiness would leave for the hospital the next morning. That morning, we all saw him together for the last time. When I looked at his face, I wanted to say something, but no words came out. My heart was completely overwhelmed. Tears filled my eyes, and deep inside I felt an unusual and intense sense of worry and sadness.
After His Holiness left Larung Gar, I had already planned to travel with my Dharma friend Kyngap to Xining, as His Holiness Jigme Phuntsok had appointed me to help organize a long-life prayer ceremony. As planned, we bought bus tickets and traveled to Xining via Markham, where we stayed overnight.
That night, I had a very disturbing dream. I woke up feeling extremely fearful, sad, and unsettled. The next morning, I told my friend about the dream and my strong feelings. At that moment, I felt an overwhelming urge to go to Chengdu, where His Holiness was hospitalized. I hoped to see him in person and be close to him.
I told my friend, "I cannot say that something bad will happen to our Guru, but I feel very strongly that we must change our plan and go to Chengdu first. After seeing His Holiness, we can then decide what to do next." At first, my friend disagreed. He said that we had already paid for the tickets, the journey was long, and it was not possible to change the plan. However, despite his encouragement to continue with our original plan, my inner feeling was very clear. Even if my body went forward, my mind could not follow that plan.
Finally, my friend accepted my request, and we traveled together to Chengdu. When we arrived, we learned that His Holiness's condition had improved and that he would soon leave the hospital. My friend then decided to return, and I saw him off at the bus station. After that, I returned alone to the hotel and lay down on the bed to rest.
During that time, I had a very vivid experience—somewhere between dream and reality. It felt as though His Holiness Jigme Phuntsok himself appeared. I could sense him clearly, as if he were saying something to me, but I could not hear the words distinctly. Slowly, the image faded, yet it felt as though his voice was still echoing in my ears.
Suddenly, I realized that I was alone in the hotel room. I immediately tried calling my cousin brother, who was with His Holiness, but there was no answer. I became extremely anxious and felt completely lost, as if my mind had gone empty. I walked out of the hotel and looked around the streets, but there were very few people, and most restaurants were still closed. I stood there for a long time, unable to calm my mind, desperately waiting for a phone call.
I wanted to go to the hospital where His Holiness was staying, but I did not know the address. Feeling helpless, I walked back and forth along the road. Then I met some Dharma friends who were going for breakfast, and they invited me to join them. I went with them, but my mind and body felt completely wrong. When we reached the restaurant, they ordered food, but I kept calling again and again, holding my phone tightly in my hand. Finally, someone answered and said to me: "His Holiness Jigme Phuntsok has left us. We are on the way back to Larung with his holy body."
I was completely shocked. I shouted, "What? His Holiness Jigme Phuntsok has passed away? That's impossible!" My voice was so loud that people around us turned to look. At that moment, we were all speechless.
After a few minutes, I decided to hire a car to follow the procession carrying His Holiness Jigme Phuntsok's holy body. This was the most painful moment of my life. When I truly accepted His Holiness's passing, the sorrow was overwhelming. I felt as if I had lost the guiding presence of my life.
As I left the restaurant, I was determined to follow the procession; however, the vehicle carrying His Holiness's holy body had already departed ahead of us. Despite our best efforts, we were unable to catch up. My friend, who was driving a small car, tried his best to follow the procession, but we still could not reach it. Later, I met my cousin sister, Metso Rinpoche, the niece of His Holiness Jigme Phuntsok. Words were impossible—we could only express our emotions and share our suffering together. That night, she stayed in Markham, and we also stayed there, while the vehicle carrying His Holiness's holy body continued on toward Larung.
That night, I did not sleep at all. At times I asked myself whether this was a dream. My sorrow was so deep that it could not be expressed in words. The entire night passed without sleep, my mind moving between prayer, memories, and silent tears. At times I prayed, and at times I cried.
Early the next morning, I met Metso Rinpoche again, and we continued the journey together toward Larung, following her. When we arrived in Larung, we paid our respects to the holy body. From that day until the tenth day, His Holiness's holy body was placed in the temple. Every day, countless people came to pay their respects and offer prayers. Because there were so many people, no one was allowed to stay long in front of the holy body. However, I decided to remain there from morning until evening. I did not even go for lunch. I spent the entire time praying and meditating. Although many meetings and discussions were taking place, I did not attend them. I kept my attention firmly focused and did not leave until the moment when the holy body was offered into the fire.
After His Holiness's holy body was offered into the fire and became sacred relics, my mind felt completely empty, as if everything had been lost. In that moment, it felt as though all beings were sharing the grief—birds and animals seemed to suffer, and even the mountains and rivers of Larung appeared to be crying and mourning.
Through this experience, I deeply realized how important the guru is in our life. Even though the guru has physically left, mentally he has never left us. I made a vow to do my very best to carry out his teachings, to guide others on the path, and to translate his collected works into English.